I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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