I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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