Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
You are a booty call, not a friend.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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