I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
