all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
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