Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
