I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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