We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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