The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Randomize
