can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize