who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
