You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
