I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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