One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Randomize
