i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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