I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i just had sex bonerless
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
