If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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