hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
This show inspires me to have sex in space
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
