She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
