okay pat passed out under dana's car
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
