This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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