It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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