i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
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