Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
