I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
