From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize