We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
