Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
