My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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