You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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