its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
