Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize