That's intense
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
