i already hear my dad disowning me
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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