I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
