so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
my poor anus
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
