i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
