ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
