This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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