I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
