I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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