Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
