The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Randomize
