We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
this will be a night to untag.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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