Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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