I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
