ugly people sure do ruin things
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Randomize
