I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
