sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Dual....:-)
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
