ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Randomize