Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
