I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
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