Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize