Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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