I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
