I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
