I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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