is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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