wat bout pragnant strippers??
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
