so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Did you pee in the oven last night??
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
