he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Randomize
