So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
