so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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