I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Randomize
