I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I didn't shave. On purpose
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I wish they made helmets for livers.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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