Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
