i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
