kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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