I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
My dick has a subreddit
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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