I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
